#im hungover and miserable fuck

[fuck-customers]

I understand it was a long weekend but i wish my coworkers would stop asking me if im hungover. Im not hungover, i dont drink. Im just incredibly sick and im out of sick time already this year. Just please leave me alone im so miserable being here is just making me feel worse

The never ending harassment from your coworkers because they think you're unhappy or mad and they want to cheer you up, and all you want is to be left the fuck alone because you're on your last spoon for the month and it's only the 4th. Yeah I know it well.

-Rodney

[heroictoonz]

Wip Wednesday! Sicktember Edition

“Gooood morning, friends!”  “God, fuck, Pim,” hissed out Charlie. The yellow critter was sat at the table. His face in his hands in the most miserable display Pim had seen from the other. “My head is fucking pounding, man. I need you to shut up.”  Pim was startled out of his joy for a second. He looked to his friend, letting his arms fall to his sides. “Jeeze, Charlie, are you alright?”  “No, I’m not fucking alright, man,” he hissed out. “My head feels like a fucking jackhammer is going off right on my skull.”  Pim looked at his friend for a moment, ringing his hand in the doorway. “Um… Charlie. Are you… hungover?”  “What?” Charlie hissed out. He raised his head to look at the pink man. His face was almost orange with flush and his eyes looked like they had checked bags for their flight. “No dude. I’m not fucking drunk, I’m sick.”  “Sick?!” Pim called out in horror. His hands flew up to his mouth in a small gasp.

im gonna start posting sicktember wips for my wip wednesday since thats what im working on rn yeehaw

[befuddled-calico-whump]

MORE ALEXEI AND SARAH COMFORT!!! IM BEGGING YOU 🥺 i’ve had a single taste and now i’m starving for them

throwing a prompt at you in case it catches your interest, i don’t care if it wouldn’t be canon: cinder gets miserably sick and delirious and someone has to make sure he’s okay. alternatively, he gets a horrid flashback / panic attack and hopefully sarah knows some strategies that might help him

part two

cw: fever, fight aftermath, implied alcoholism, adult language

He shouldn't have taken the contract.

On any other day, he would've handled it easily, in and out, quiet as a shadow. Today he was a little under the weather, but Alexei wasn't about to hand the job back to Chopper and say he couldn't because he was sick.

Lex had pushed through the fever and the chills and sought out his target. He'd fought hungover before, drunk before, this shouldn't be all that different, right?

But he'd underestimated the amount of weakness that came with sickness. What should've been an easy mission ended up something he'd barely walked away from.

But now the job was done, and he could rest.

If he could find somewhere to rest.

Chopper's place was at least a couple miles deeper into the city, and walking there with fresh wounds on top of the shivering and waves of dizziness would be... Difficult.

There was a second option. The rogues' place was maybe a mile closer.

No. He wasn't about to take advantage of Spyglass's offer a second time. He could make it to Chopper's just fine.

The going was irritatingly slow. Lex knew under normal circumstances he'd be there in under an hour, but every step sent a spike of pain through his ribcage, and it was a struggle to keep his eyes open.

He needed to distract himself. To think of something other than how much this fucking sucked.

At least you aren't in the Tower. At least Uriah---

Not that. Not right now. Not even in comparison.

Trick, stick, slick, wick.

Think of something, find a focus. He'd always been able to find a focus, even if it was torn away from him by pain or touch or---

Shut up. Stop.

Think, wink, brink, sink.

He wanted a drink. How shitty was that? Already barely standing and his body craved the thing that would make it worse.

Or better, it could make it better, it could make it hurt less---

No.

Lex groaned as a stronger wave of dizziness washed over him, practically falling against a wall to keep from collapsing. The impact sent a twinge through his ribs, and for a moment he just slumped there, lacking the willpower to take another step, or even stand up straight.

You need to---

He pushed himself back up with a small cry, staggering forward, almost losing his balance.

---keep moving.

Another step. Only forward. Don't think.

If anyone sees you, if anyone comes after you, you don't stand a chance.

Dance, lance, prance.

Lex took another step, and his knee buckled. He barely managed to get his arms out in time to keep from smashing his face on the pavement.

Fuck.

Up. Get up.

His hands curled into fists with a sound like a knife being sharpened, and he tried to get his arms under him, to push up. But while he knew the metal wouldn't fail him, his own shoulders shook too badly to be much help.

Fuck, duck, truck, luck.

He couldn't stay here. He couldn't just stay here. He'd fallen in the street, in the middle of Neath. If Uriah didn't find him and take him, someone else would.

Lex screamed through his teeth as he tried to push himself up again, nearly making it to a kneel before his body gave out on him.

Tears of frustration burned his eyes, threatening to spill, and he furiously blinked them away. He couldn't panic. He needed to think.

There was an alley a dozen meters away. If he could just make it there, at least he'd be out of sight. Maybe he could catch enough rest to stand again and make it back to Chopper's before anyone found him.

Lex dug his fingers into the pavement and started to drag himself, weakly kicking his legs at the ground to try and give himself more of a push.

He just needed to make it to the alley, just across the street.

But he wasn't even halfway there when he could feel his shoulders start to fail. His chest burned with every little gasp, his body aching from the fever and the blows he'd taken just an hour ago. And worst of all, he was becoming too weak to move.

Fuck. Fuck. He-- he couldn't just lie here and hope no one saw him, he couldn't just give up, he had to---

"Cinder?"

Lex tensed at the voice above him, a whimper slipping through clenched teeth as pain spiked through his chest.

Not now, he could still make it, he could still---

"Cinder, hey."

He realized he knew the voice. Unable to even lift his head and turn around, Lex let his cheek hit the pavement, casting a glance back.

A short woman was standing in the road. Silhouetted by streetlight, figure and face soft and rounded, glasses shining red with the light of a bar sign.

Spyglass.

•°•°•

tag list:

@whumpacabra @enteredin2eternity @kixngiggles @whumpsday @kiichu @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @shywhumpauthor @distinctlywhumpthing , @bloodinkandashes , @fleur-alise , @whumpy-daydreams , @whumpwillow

[spiel-mit-mir-ein-spiel]

Feeling B~ Punk im Osten pt11.

God, this man... :3

Warnings : ( talking about) getting sick ( vomit)

The next morning you opened your eyes slowly. You growled and put your hand on your stomach. You had to much to drink yesterday and you felt miserable. When you looked next to you, you saw Paul still sleeping. You smiled when you gently kissed his cheek without waking him. You got up and put some clothes on before walking outside. Laura and Aljoscha were already outside. Laura was wearing sunglasses and was completely slumped down in her chair. ''Ah, it seems i'm not the only one feeling complete hungover'' you faintly smiled when you looked at Laura. '' I'm never drinking Aljoscho's liquor ever again. My stomach hurts'' she whined and you laughed. ''Yeah, it was a little to strong'' Aljoscha admitted and you shook your head laughing. When you wanted to sat down in your chair, you heard a voice '' Excuse me?'' a woman said and you turned around. 'Nikki?'' Aljoscha said when he looked at the woman. '' Hey Aljoscha'' the woman called Nikki greeted Aljoscha with a smile. '' What are you doing here?'' he said while he got up. ''I'm passing through and heard that you were performing here so I wanted to give the divorce papers to Paul'' You eyes grew wider and your mouth fell open when you looked at Laura who looked at you exactly the same. ''Divorce papers?!'' You almost yelled and she looked confused at you. '' Yeah, the divorce is now finalized and wanted to give the papers to Paul for his administration'' You felt your blood boiling and Flake who came out of his tent walked towards you. '' Y/N..'' he said while putting his hand on your shoulder. Then Paul came out of the trailer stretching and his eyes grew wider when he saw Nikki. '' What are you doing here?'' He looked from Nikki to you and you bit your lip so hard it started bleeding. ''Bringing the divorcepapers'' she said and she handed it to Paul. He didn't knew what to say and when he looked at you, he knew he fucked up. Nikki said something to him but he didn't listen because he was in panick mode. He knew he should've told you about Nikki. ''Are you alright?'' Nikki said when she looked at you and Flake still had his hand on your shoulder. '' All i have to say is fuck you Paul and you too Nikki'' you said while your stormed off with tears in your eyes. you were furious. And not even that covered the load.. You were crushed. How the hell did he not tell you about this?!.

Nikki looked shocked and Aljoscha sighed. '' It's better if you leave Nikki. Nice to see you. take care'' He said while he looked at his panicking friend. '' I told you,you should've told her Paul...'' Flake said with a sigh and Paul look mad at Flake. '' You think? Ofcourse i should've! But it was not the right time..'' Laura walked by the guys and followed your steps.. You were on the beach and you felt your already sore stomach getting upset. You felt your were getting sick and you emptied your stomach on the beach. '' Oh honey, come'' Laura said when she hold you and walked to the toilets to rinse your mouth. '' How could he do this ? Why didn't he tell me about this?'' you said sobbing and you cried on Laura's shoulder. '' I'm so sorry sweetheart. I didn't even knew Aljoscha knew! Otherwise i made him tell you because this is fucked up..'' She gently rubbed your back untill you let go.

You let go of Laura and looked at her with bloodshot eyes from crying and you sighed. '' I don't want to go back'' Laura grabbed you hand while looking at you. ''Then we don't go back. You wanna go to the beach?'' she said and you nodded. The two of you walked to the beach, Laura never letting go of your hand. It was nice to have a friend like Laura to comfort you. When you sat down on the beach you saw Flake running towards you. '' Y/N, I'm so sorry, i should have told you'' he said while hugging you tight. '' Thank you, but it wasn't your story to share. I don't blame you'' you said while hugging him back, tears once again flowing down your cheeks. He kissed your forehead lighty and looked at you. '' If there's anything i can do, please tell me'' he said and you nodded. After a while Flake stood up and looked at you. '' Are you staying here?'' He said and looked at Laura and you. '' You both can go, i just want to be alone for a while'' you said and Laura looked at you. '' You sure?'' she said and you nodded. She kissed your cheek before walking towards the campingsite. You sighed while watching the sunset on your own.

When it was completely dark, you stood up and walked back to the truck. You saw Paul sitting there with his face in his hands by the fire. ''Hey'' Laura said softly and Aljoscha, Flake and Nathalie looked at you with a faint smile on their faces. '' Come'' Nathalie said softly to Flake when you sat in the chair across Paul. Flake took her hand and went into their tent. Laura and Aljoscha walked to the beach and you sighed when Paul looked up. ''I'm so sorry, i never EVER meant to hurt you like this..'' he said and you wiped away your tears. ''Why didn't you tell me you were married?'' you said and Paul sighed. '' I don't know, i didn't want to scare you. We haven't been together for a long time, but it took a while for the divorce to be finalized.'' You snorted. '' And you thought it was a good idea to keep this from your girlfriend?'' you looked at him angry. '' No, it wasn't. But i didn't want you to think it was because i still loved her'' he replied and you went silent. You looked at eachother but neither of you said something. You both felt lost for words and were very sad. You both didn't want to lose eachother . ''I'm going to bed, i need to sort my head out'' You said while you walked by Paul. Paul stopped you by grabbing your hand. '' I really do love you Y/N'' He said with tears in his eyes and you smile faintly before getting in the truck and shut the door behind you.

You crawled into your bed and sighed when tears started to fall again. You didn't wanna lose Paul but you just don't get why he wasn't being honest. Why would you be mad about something in his past? You were more heartbroken by the fact he wasn't being honest. You had serious thrust issues and this just didn't help.. You smelled Paul's cologne on the pillow and you grabbed it tightly while slowly falling a sleep.

[scarletnakazato]

Lightweight Shingo is weirdly endearing… do you think he gets hungover easily too?

Oh, yes. #TedTalk incoming. ✋🏻😌

With how much confidence and pride he has in general, whether it be of himself, driving, etc. I always figured he has to have a weakness of some kind. So why not a lightweight? Since the legal drinking age in Japan is 20, and he's 20 in Stage 1 so he's a baby in the drinking world. Unless of course he drank alcohol at home and worked up a tolerance, but I don't see that happening. His parents would probably be strict with that, and just Japanese families in general would probably be against it anyway until they're of age.

He probably didn't get into drinking too much until after he starts dating. He'd find nights out with you more enjoyable, and if you're a casual drinker for nights out, gatherings, etc. he'd pick it up a bit more with you and try whatever drinks you order so he can find his likes and dislikes.

Since he is a baby im the drinking world, I can forsee you needing to bring anti-hangover medicine, whether it's the little drink or those dissolvable pills/chew type things. If he doesn't get those, he's definitely gonna be complaining the next day that he's dying, probably throws up a few times and has zero appetite. He'd probably feel dehydrated as fuck and want to chug the shit out of several glasses of water, but the migraine and upset stomach he's got is preventing him from doing so. Thus, he'd have to settle for a sip at a time and he's gonna be miserable as hell for the entire day, maybe even the day after that.

It really kills his tough guy personality, and I think it's cute. :)

[raven]

my mom called me today like "wanna go to the farmer's market before you work?" and i was like (writhing around in bed hungover as fuck feeling absolutely miserable) "sorry I don't really feel up for it, didn't sleep well last night :(" knowing FULL WELL the reason why i didnt sleep well. and she was like "ugh i know didnt sleep well either.. your grandma was telling me neither did she it must be the heat or something" im like "yeah must be the heat its brutal..."

[rianafying]

i’m starving and i’m hungover and i’m in trouble. my sd card got corrupted and i might lose all the work i’ve done in january, which is a LOT of work. i just need to talk to my friends. the timing is bad because they’re either at work or asleep rn. i’m about to throw up.

it’s fine i reached them, after they woke up. spoke to friends, i feel better emotionally. but worse physically because it’s been so long since i’ve had some food. any food. there’s so much shit i need to buy but no money to buy them. i’m scared that one of these days i’ll have to resort to ebegging. i don’t want to do that. because im not even doing that bad but i feel terrible. and im prone to heavily catastrophizing every situation im faced with. somehow i have linked this sd card failure to the downfall of my career that i have worked so hard to build. if you dont have catastrophizing anxiety, you dont know what it feels like to imagine every single worst possible outcome and believe it to be true. but somehow throughout my life, it has been. what i feared kept coming true. but fearing it and being paralysed by it, didn’t help my case. apparently it’s in my brain chemistry to do this and also to have chronic pain. apparently there’s something wrong in my hypothalamus, pituitary gland, amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex. they’re are all fucked up and feel wayyy more pain than is ever necessitated. i feel like im spiralling out of control at a faster rate than i can reel it back in. for most of my life ive been getting wounded more than i could heal. and now im limping my way through life, and hating almost every second of it despite trying so hard not to.

i had a full breakdown today, worse than other breakdowns. i feel super defeated. people are being nice to me. somehow that is making me feel even worse. things keep going wrong. there is no escaping tragedy.

day 3 of this same journal entry. i’m officially out of money. even my coins. i have a little bit of usd in my absolute emergency fund, but i really don’t want to have to touch that. i have a week to go before i get paid a bit of money. which will still not be enough because i had to use afterpay to buy some necessary stuff at kmart, and now i have to pay it back. things rlly are tough out here. thinking i should not fix my laptop and instead spend that money like normal. like use it to get by nicely for a while. then what? at what point will i be able to get a real regular job? i found out for sure this month that i can’t make it to work on 25% of days due to my illness. so what work could i do. rlly upset about losing the images on my sd card. i haven’t permanently lost them yet, but, it’s far too expensive to recover. i was considering recovering the data when im in bangladesh but i dont think id trust the data recovery service in dhaka anyway. they’ll probably fail at the task and also ruin my card. things are so wrong rn. my microwave, my pan, my passport, my myki, my financial situation, the burnt skin on my face, my psoriasis and arthritis, my hair situation, my multiple severe nutritional deficiencies and chronic pain, my various mental illnesses, my awful dirty room, my inability to work on any, let alone every, one of these problems. i just get paralysed and bed rot for days. this is officially too much for me. it’s too many things to deal with. i’m not built for even half of this. how can i give up without like kms, like what’s another way to give up? because bed rotting isn’t cutting it. i could really use some help. when i asked for help, my uncle said to visit my friend in sydney, or to visit bangladesh, neither of which is going to actually help my situation, because ill be miserable regardless of where i am, until my problems have been resolved. and both of these things are expensive as fuck, like, what’s a girl supposed to do. i don’t wanna go on a $200 trip to sydney when my sd card requires a $400 data recovery. that’s just the tip of the iceberg that is my situation.

no amount of talking to people, or going on trips is going to solve my problems. which is painful for me to say because i’ve been dying to do something fun for once. not that i don’t have fun in melbourne i do, but that’s cause i try to enjoy work, and romanticise the life i already have. and because im not yet a local local, i can still experience melbourne like a tourist. with fresh eyes. anyway, yeah, im deleting bumble because its stupid, let’s be real im never gonna go on a date w a strangers plus i dont even respond to people because im obviously not ready to actually give this a chance. not yet at least. costar says i let my need for stability stunt relationship growth. but i’m okay with that, or at least i would be if i had any stability. right now i feel like i have the short end of every stick. no it feels like i have no stick at all. the universe or god or whatever is out there is giving me a huge middle finger and laughing at my suffering.

they say that i’m overthinking or that even if there is a problem there’s a solution. what’s the solution to not having enough money to solve my problems? by the time i might have money, these problems will have caused critical damage. what’s the solution to the weight i carry around from never feeling safe or loved my whole entire life. what’s the solution to the mother shaped void in my heart. what’s the solution to the fear of losing my sibling and friends. i cope, and i deal, but it never really goes away. even now as i’ve hit my weekly rock bottom, i’m trying to list things to be grateful for, to see the glass as half full. but i can’t lie, the glass is not half full. i’ve been running on a nearly empty tank for as long as i can remember. even if i somehow manage to get my tank full, there’s like holes in it that can never be permanently patched. i destroy everything i touch, i let down everyone i know, and i keep getting chances. i don’t need another chance. i need a break. i don’t want to prove myself, unless it is to prove that i fail.

i’m told that the broader focus of my life during this time is to clear away built-up structures that have been holding me back. excess is not always abundance. i’m supposed to decide what's worth keeping and what to pass up. apparently my sense of well-being relies on my willingness to seize new opportunities, which is a commendable move for someone who will only settle for all or nothing. “use this moment to streamline your aesthetic by getting rid of excess that no longer gives you pleasure.” this could not be more on the nose. fine i’ll pack some stuff up and head drop it in a donation bin. it will clear up some space in my room too. this might be good. give me some literal and also mental space to work with. also on the nose is “make sure you're not doing that thing where you over-intellectualize your experience, and then convince yourself that you know all the laws of the universe.” okay i get it. thank you for spelling it out for me. maybe now i will finally listen. i’m certainly being spied on. most of life is out of my control but i choose joy.

i couldn’t attend the invasion day protest today because i was on the phone talking a loved one out of killing herself. i shouldn’t feel guilty, it’s not like i had a choice in that scenario. i’m told that in most scenarios, there is no such thing as “fault”. if my goal was to shift blame, i could use all the words in the world to make myself innocent, but that’s not what i want, that’s not what i’m familiar with.

i think that maybe i would like to have a fresh start. i dont know what a fresh start would even look like. to go back in time a couple of years? how many years? at what point was it fresh? go back to when i was born? be born to different people? be a different person? a fresh start to me would be one in which so much is different from how my life is right now, that i don’t know how it would even be mine. this is who i am, all the terrible things that make up, well, me. and a fresh start wouldn’t be me, or it wouldn’t be fresh. i’m stale and im crusty, to the core of my being.

maybe i just need to go on a walk.

[vhstape]

ohhhh my god i woke up to a text from my dad asking me to feed his wifes dog because no one bothered to do it this morning. so i get up to do that and almost immediately step in the biggest fucking puddle of dog piss because i guess no one bothered to let the elderly dog out this morning either!!!!! im so fucking miserable and hungover and i cant take anymore seriously im at my limit

[zima74824]

Zima heard some music

Zima : aw I love this song

Rex : care to dance with the captain?

Zima grabs his hand as she started dancing swaying her hips side to side as she drinks her drink

Rex : your really know how to get a guy’s attention ~

Zima chuckled and continued dancing with him and kissed his lips and then continued Rex froze a bit surprised by the kiss but smiles and enjoyed the moment

Hardcase started a fight in the bar

Zima : ENOUGH Hardcase you asshole !

Hardcase: your no fun

((Hardcase is canonically zimas ex they broke up after he sacrificed himself in clone wars

Zima : and this is why a preferred you as a friend….

Hardcase: I was doing what was right for the republic don’t blame me for sacrificing myself years ago! Zima : yeah but you didn’t think about how I felt !

Rex : ok ok guys let’s not start this again…

Zima : I should have known that you’d be self absorbed…..

Hardcase: zima cmon you know very well that I still love you….

Zima : I-I’m sorry I just can’t …..I can’t do this right now…

Rex puts his hand on her shoulder glared at Hardcase and nods in disappointment

Rex : zima im so sorry are you alright?

Zima : I’ll be fine cap just …..don’t worry I’ll be fine…

Hardcase: know what FUCK YOU CAPTAIN YOU ONLY GOT SOFT BECAUSE OF HER!

Rex : Hardcase just calm down …please…your only making this worse ….

Hardcase felt his heart racing in anger as he covers his face in shame

Hardcase: I-I’m sorry…..I had a drink and…

Rex : I know brother that’s the quickest you ever been self aware about your actions Hardcase looks at zima then looked away in guilt

Zima : Hardcase…..

Hardcase: please zima for now …..I’d like to be alone…..

Zima : no! I’m not gonna let you go to your bed and feel miserable about this!

Zima : partner or not your still my friend and I’m here for you….

Hardcase: but why I don’t get it….

Rex : it’s called unconditional love she still loves you but sounds like you two need to get some stuff figured out before trying to be together again Hardcase: I guess I wasn’t ready for a relationship….

Zima : don’t worry I don’t think either of us were Wrecker: hey shorty everything ok?

Zima : yeah bubs everything is ok now just a moment of tension is all

Zima : anyway Hardcase you should probably go to bed I’ll check on you later if you get hungover Hardcase leaves the bar looked at zima and smiled a little before leaving feeling better

[midasinc]

i need a first name for courfeyrac gimme ur best buddy

my go to is jean-hugo bc i like hyphenated names for him and since he and victor hugo are both slutty skanks i like to throw in the hugo. i also like jean-claude bc that name fucks

however if you ever see me do family hcs, i give one of my imaginary older brothers for courf the name guillaume and in a context where we arent using my family hcs, i also like that name for him.

im not great with historical names and association with class so my answer is not the best it could be but those r at least 3 i really like.

[bxthharmon]

Through the Ages || JJ Maybank x Routledge!Reader

Words: 1870

Warnings: Super toxic relationship, underage drinking, smoking, weed

Summary: The development of your relationship with JJ, from when your first met aged eight to adult life, MAJOR ANGST

A/N: okay i know i havent written anything in WEEKS but im watching obx and im obsessed... i really wasn’t expecting this to take such a dark turn?? contact me if you wanna request anything or make friends :)

masterlist

8 years

You’re eight and when you meet John in front of the school to walk home, he has a friend. You know your brother’s friends - most of them, at least - but this boy is new. He is tanned and blonde and tall for his age, and a girl in your class had told you about how he’s always getting into small playground scraps. You eye each other warily on the way home, your brother between you, oblivious to the hostility. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t like him - how could you dislike someone you knew nothing about? - it was that John had promised to stop bringing his friends on the way home, because he would end up ignoring you, and now there was a friend walking with them. 

When the boy finally leaves, John looks at you as if he forgot you were there. You watch as the boy goes through the front door, catching a glimpse of a dark, cluttered house. You wonder where his parents are. 

John coaxes you into a race - who can get home first - and he wins. He always wins. A year older, stronger, faster. Your dad greets you, asking about your days, and laughing as you complain about how John ignored you on the way home.

The next week, the boy walks with you again. His name is JJ, and he’s funny. He gives you a twinkie as a peace offering, saying that he wants to walk with you and John from now on. You shrugged, and took the twinkie, telling him it was for the food, and only the food.

11 years

You’re eleven, in your first year of middle school, and you and John ride home from school everyday on your bikes. On the days when you’re not surfing or hanging out with friends, you cycle home with John, JJ and a new member of the gang, Pope. You and JJ, while still at a twinkie-incited truce, are growing more competitive and show-offish around each other. You race your bikes to his, and if you stop at the corner store on the way home, you see who can chug their cola faster. John fights with you when you get home because they’re “his friends, not yours!”

You have your own friends, and sometimes you cross with your brother’s friends in town, sass thrown between the groups like a tennis rally, the twinkie-truce fading into the past. You can’t stand the tall blonde surfer, but you can’t wait to argue with him on your way home from school.

14 years

You’re fourteen, and after a year long break from your brother’s friends, you’re, once again, at the same school. You’ve changed, filled out more over the last year, puberty having hit you like a tonne of bricks since you last hung out. The three pogues now have one female friend, Kiara, and you become fast friends. You can tell your brother has a thing for her, and you wonder if he’ll ever bring her home to meet your dad. 

JJ sees you differently now. You seem less like the eight year old he met six years ago, but you’re still very much yourself. He pulls your ponytail as you pass him in the hallways at school, and you flip him off in return. You sometimes go to the same parties, and your drinking races have switched from cola to beer. John hates you being at parties, claiming your too young to drink or party, as if he wasn’t the year before. John can see how JJ looks at you, and he hates it. He hates seeing how guys look at you now, how they flirt, hit on and catcall his baby sister. He also hates how in your efforts to compete with JJ, you get into fights and run your mouth. He hates how JJ shows off around you, and vice versa. 

Despite his frustrations with JJ, he’s also the only guy who’ll stand up for you when you or John can’t do it yourselves. He hopes you don’t grow up too quickly, and he knows that his friends will always have your back, so he’s not worried. 

15 years

You’re fifteen, and you go to a kegger for the first time. You get drunk quickly, flirting with too many guys and giggling at every little thing. You share a blunt with JJ, and the pair of you practically piss yourselves with laughter when John tries to reprimand you. The night is fun, and you can’t wait for the next one. 

The next one is much worse. You’re one or two drinks in when you see JJ flirting with a touron. In retrospect, that’s probably when you first noticed your feelings, but at the time you have no idea why you’re so angry about it. By the end of the night, you’ve had half a bottle of vodka and two spliffs, and you’re way far gone. You might even have blacked out - but all you remember is the pure rage, and how you spent ten minutes throwing up by the front porch when you got home. 

You saw JJ the next day, and you’re both hungover. He checks on you, and neither of you really understand why you’re so cold towards him, but he leaves pretty quickly.

You cry that night.

16 years

You’re sixteen, and your dad is missing. You lost all your friends when you fell into a depression after it. Nine months later, and you feel happy again. You’re the final member of pogue crew, and you spend the summer surfing and swimming and settle into the routine of summer. You surf first thing in the morning, as dawn breaks, often with JJ, competing over who’s a better surfer (he is). You spend your afternoons on the HMS Pogue, competing with JJ over who’s the better swimmer (you are). The group of you drink and smoke and live your best lives. On the days where you’re not on the boat, you work. 

You know you love JJ, and you flirt constantly. He kisses you at a kegger, barely twenty minutes before he pulls the gun on Topper. You have your first serious argument that night, and it ends with him kissing you.

You wear your heart on your sleeve, and assure him you love him. He doesn’t say it back, but he shows it. You learn about his Dad and his work and how he learnt to surf. You sneak around, and, miraculously, don’t get caught. 

16 ½ years

You’re sixteen and a half when John and Sarah go missing. Kie and Pope try to help, but you don’t pay them any attention. You and JJ struggle, with yourselves, each other, and your relationship. You’re on the rocks, you’re up against the wall. You don’t think you’ll last, and you fight constantly.

Your relationship is toxic, taking your own angers out on each other, fighting and screaming in each others faces only to make up for a honeymoon period that lasts a week, max, and the cycle repeats. You’re both miserable. 

17 years

You’re seventeen, and he breaks up with you. You were too alike - both too impulsive, angry, broken for it to ever work. You apply to out-of state colleges, hoping to escape the islands you used to love.

You wait for an acceptance letter, and watch as the people you call family try to rebuild their lives.

18 years

You’re eighteen, and you get the letter. UCLA, on the other side of the country. You say your goodbyes to Kie and Pope, and eventually, JJ.

He looks broken, when you tell him. He asks you what you’d do if John came back and you weren’t around, but you had resigned yourself to John’s death long ago. You fight one last time. You fuck one last time. You love one last time.

You wonder if you’ll ever return.

22 years

You’re twenty two, and you’ve got a degree. You fly home the day after graduation, and everything has changed.

Kie runs the Wreck now, and she gives you a free meal and you talk for hours when you first arrive. She invited you to her and Pope’s place. 

They have a nice place. Not on Figure Eight, but on that side of the island - Pope’s got a high earning job in marine biology research. They’re happy.

You smoke a blunt with Pope, for old time’s sake. He tells you to see JJ, and gives you a slip of paper with the address. You don’t know if you want to throw it into the ocean or treasure it forever. You do neither.

It takes you a week to psych yourself up to it, and then you knock on his door.

His house is small, but not tiny, not like his childhood home. He welcomes you in, a light in his eyes you hadn’t seen in years. He sits you down at the dinner table, and you take in the pictures on the mantel shelf, and the mementos stuck to the fridge. 

You see the ring on his finger.

You enter a state of stasis. You were sure he was it for you, but the circumstances were wrong and you were too immature. Right person, wrong time, or something along those lines. No, apparently not. He moved on, he built a life without you, a happier, healthier life.

His wife is lovely, everything you’re not. She’s patient and kind and soft-spoken, the opposite to him, bringing balance. She stabilises him, and gives him what he needs.

You think of how you would argue with him, the screaming, shouting, throwing plates and vases. Your love was so naive, but so passionate. Everything that happened while you were together, everything that went wrong, happened because your tempers and stubborn natures and impulsivity was destructive.

You fly back to California a week later. 

You sit on the plane and reminisce. The night you and JJ broke up, the house got wrecked. You had been standing inches apart, but screaming at the top of your lungs. You had lost your temper and overturned a table, smashing all the crockery left on it. He had thrown a vase at the wall, and you had fought until your voices broke and you were too tired and sore to keep throwing shit at walls and each other. You had sat next to each other, leaning on the wall by the front door, an uncharacteristic calm washing over you. 

You had looked at him, heart aching, and told him that you needed to split up. He had nodded, and eventually, the pair of you had drifted off to sleep, dreaming of a world where you could be together without all the hate in the way.

When you woke up in the morning, he was gone, but the mess had stayed. You had had to tiptoe over thousands of shards of broken crockery and glass to get to your room, a reminder of how you were destined to self-destruct. 

You watched out the window as the plane landed, and vowed never to return again. 

Outer Banks was no longer your home.

[anninhiliation]

Behind Closed Doors

A/N: I attached the requests on the bottom this time! Might do that from now on who knows

Wordcount: 2.2k+

Warnings: There is smut, but it's over 1.6k+ wording deep mostly angst and some fluff  

Masterlist

You stayed up and waited for Chris to come home from the studio. It was 12:00 am, and he still wasn’t home and not a single text from him. You knew dating a musician entailed long nights and early mornings, the tours and promos but none of that mattered to you. All that mattered was that you would be with Chris even if it was just for a couple of months, and the occasional breaks in between tour. Chris was an amazing boyfriend of almost two years, and you were head over heels for him. Yet, you couldn’t help but think something was wrong in the relationship. It wasn’t what it used to be, and maybe you were just being paranoid but you felt as if things were different. As the night dragged on, hitting 1:45 am and still nothing from Chris, you decided to send him a text. 

Y/N: hey amor are you gonna be in the studio for much longer? 

As you awaited a response you went on with your nightly routine, trying not to think about Chris and what he was doing, fearing the worst. As you were brushing your teeth, your phone buzzed making your glance over the screen. 

Papito😘: No it ended early but we went out 

You read the notification, making your heart sink. You knew what we went out meant, and you knew how he was when he got drunk. Lately, you felt as if Chris was avoiding you, choosing to spend time with strangers or his bandmates than his own girlfriend. You were feeling abandoned by the one person you loved and trusted the most. You missed how he used to make you feel like his top priority, always going out of his way to see you, call you, text you anything. You left Chris on read sighing as you got into bed, in your shared bedroom. Laying in the darkroom, your thoughts clouded your mind. The room was infected with him, his scent, his things, a few pictures of him, and worst of all his presence. You fell asleep with tears streaming down your face as all you could think about was Chris and what you did wrong and where it went wrong. When you woke up the next morning, you were still alone just as he left you. With a sigh, you got out of bed completely miserable and drained from your crumbling relationship. After brushing your teeth and washing your face, you exited the bedroom and made your way to the kitchen. If you were being honest, you weren’t even hungry, you had no motivation to cook and just wanted to go back to bed. As the eggs sizzled on the hot pan, the front door unlocked and sluggish footsteps dragged themselves into the kitchen. You looked up from your cooking and there appeared a very tired and hungover Christopher. He poured himself a cup of coffee after kissing your cheek and saying good morning. When he embraced you into a hug, his scent pierced your scenes, but it was different. It wasn’t just his, you smelt the perfume of another. What was another girl’s scent doing lingering on him? Was he cheating on you? Was he so fed up with you, so bored of you he opted for someone new and didn’t have the heart to tell you? 

“Nena want to grab lunch today?” He asked interrupting your thoughts

You looked up from your cooking and at him, a little wide-eyed making him raise an eyebrow at you. 

“Nena?” he asked again 

“Y-yeah that would be nice wanna go to our usual spot?” you asked 

“Sounds good,” he smiled as his phone buzzed making him look over at it “listen nena I gotta go, but let’s meet at one”

He kissed your temple and rushed out the door.

You sat in the little quaint restaurant at bouncing your leg nervously as you waited for Chris. Little did he know, that before lunch you ran down to Adore Me and picked out something you knew he would love hidden underneath your sundress. Even though you were afraid that he was cheating on you, you couldn’t help but miss him, his touch, his attention and what you used to have with him. 1 o’clock rolled around, and still no Chris. Maybe he’s just a few minutes late, it is a busy day in the city after all. Then it hit 1:30 PM and not even a single text from him. Then the waiter came by at 2 with an apologetic smile. 

“Miss its been an hour, its either you order something or I’m going to have to ask you to leave I’m sorry its policy”

“Sorry for wasting your time” you mumbled as you gathered your things and rushed out calling Chris 

On the third ring he finally picked up “nena?” 

You could hear a girl laugh in the background making your blood boil. You were already suspicious of being replaced, but he couldn’t even give you the decency of ending things beforehand or hide things better. 

“Chris you said we were meeting for lunch! What the hell?” you hissed 

“Nena it’s only- oh shit,” he said “listen nena I’m sorry-” 

“Whatever Chris” you sighed, “it’s not like we haven’t spent time together in months or anything”

You hung up after that not wanting to hear another word or let him sense that you were holding back tears.

Back in the shared home, you gathered your belongings and prepared an overnight bag, for maybe a night or two. In truth, you packed so many things you could leave for a week without a problem. You needed to clear your head and see where you were going with Chris. It wasnt as if you could really have a heart to heart with someone who was never there. In a rush not wanting to walk into Chris you zipped up the luggage and beelined for the front door. As you swung the front door open you were shocked to see Chris on the other side of it, ready to unlock it. 

“Nena what are you doing?” he questioned looking at your luggage 

“I’m leaving for a few days not that you would care” you huffed as you tried to move past him

Chris blocked the door, growing slightly annoyed as his confusion grew. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked shocked 

“Chris, when was the last time we spent time together? You’re never here and when you are you make no effort to take time and do things with me! When was the last time you paid attention to me? When was the last time you touched me?” You spat out as you pushed him to the side walking away with tears streaming down your face. “We’re through” you said trying to not let your teary face become obvious 

Day 1: 

Papito😘 calling

Declined.

Papito😘: Nena please im sorry

Looking at the notification you rolled your eyes and huffed. Did he really think such a cliche line would make you run back to him? 

Papito😘: Nena ill do better

You read the text again, thinking he should have done better when he had you. 

Papito😘: Y/N please I need you 

You turned your phone off after that text not wanting to cave in to him afraid that one of his texts would send you running back into his arms. Without Chris, you were miserable and even more heartbroken than before. You missed him more than ever before, he had nested a piece of your mind and heart larger than you realized. 

Day 2:

It felt like you weren’t getting better and Chris’s friends were now contacting you.

Richard started as you were closest to him out of Chris’s friends. He asked you to take back his friend or at least meet with him, telling you how unhappy Chris was without you. Then news broke out, shattering your broken heart into dust. Christopher Velez seen with mystery girl. Y/N and Chris over? Joel was quick to contact you after you drowned yourself in the vicious headlines. You cried yourself to sleep that night. 

Day 3: 

You stopped by the house to pick up the rest of your belongings and to return the keys at a time you figured Chris wouldn’t be home. You unlocked the front door, and quietly let yourself in.

“Nena?” a weak voice called out from the living room 

You froze in your steps, being completely taken back by Chris. His sluggish footsteps made their way to the door, as he practically froze in his steps. 

“W-what are you doing?” he asked 

You studied his face, his eyes were puffy, and baggy from lack of sleep. Chris looked terrible, making the ache in your heart grow. 

“I- I was just grabbing some stuff, I thought you wouldn’t be home right now” you meekly responded looking down at your feet

“Nena please don’t do this” he begged as he slowly approached you 

You stood there still frozen as he continued to approach you. He gingerly placed his hands around your waist and pulled you in to him. His face nuzzled into the crook of your neck as his tears hit your warm skin. 

“Nena please” he sobbed “te amo I fucked up...I fucked up”

Your arms slowly wrapped around him as tears fell from your eyes. 

“Chris” you whispered “you abandoned me”

He moved his head, lips hovering millimeters apart from yours and met your eyes. His big brown eyes looked into yours, silently pleading with you. 

“Nena” he whispered “I'm so sorry”

Looking down at his lips and back into his eyes, with your hands slowly traveling into his locks you tugged on them gently as you smashed your lips against his. Chris kissed you back as his lips melted into yours. This felt right to you, his hands roaming your body as you tugged harder on his making an ache between your legs. His hands went further down your body, behind your thighs and lifted you up as you jumped up. Your legs wrapped around his torso as he carried you to the bedroom. 

“Let me make it up to you nena” he said between kisses as he laid you on the messy bed

He helped you get out of your clothes as you helped him get out of his. He kissed your neck hitting all of your favorite spots.

“I will never let this happen again” he mumbled in the crook of your neck 

“You are my everything” he continued as his hands slid down your body 

“You deserve only the best” he whispered as he left a trail of soft kisses from your neck to your collar bones 

“You're so beautiful nena” he said as he grabbed your breasts, encircling one of your hardened buds with his mouth

Your back arched as your breathing hitched, hands tugging harder on his hair. 

“Chris” you whimpered creating music to his ears with every noise you made

He paid attention to the other bud making you moan as his fingers trailed down to your pulsating core. Your hips bucked as he teased your slit, as he continued his trail of kisses. 

“Please give me another chance nena” he groaned as he passed your naval 

“I will never disappoint you again” he whispered as he kitten licked your slit

“You taste as sweet as honey nena” he mumbled between licks  

Your mouth hung agape as he did all the things you liked, drawing your favorite pattern on your swollen pearl. He slid two fingers inside you and curled at the right spot. 

“Oh my god” you moaned as your toes curled 

Chris pumped his fingers quickly building up your knot. 

“Chris just fuck me” you whimpered as you wanted more, wanting to feel closer to him 

“Anything you want princesa” he said as he pulled away from you and slowly slid inside you

He kissed your neck and collar bones as he set a slow pace. You scratched his nape and down his back as your walls opened up from him. 

“Faster” You whined 

“Fuck nena” he grunted as he snapped his hips quicker and rougher 

His hand slithered down to your nerve endings and drew figure eights. 

“You are my everything I love you nena” he groaned 

He angled his hips and threw your leg over his shoulder, hitting right into your inner sweet spot. Your eyes were rolling back as a knot formed in your lower abdomen. Walls fluttered around his member, making his thrusts lose their rhythm. 

“Nena cum for me,” he whispered as he kissed your plump lips “let me see you make that pretty face” 

“Chris!” You screamed as your knot snapped 

Your eyes rolled to the back of your skull as you entered your state of bliss. Your thighs shook around him as you left another trail of red marks down his back. Your breathing hitched as Chris rode you out for your high, and then slipping into his. You felt his warmth spread inside you as he released his seed in you. He slowly pulled out of you and lovingly kissed your lips before laying on the bed and pulling you on top of him. You nuzzled into the crook of his neck as your fingers twirled his strands of hair. 

“Nena I’m so sorry about everything” he finally spoke as he nervously drew circles against your hips “please give me another chance I’ll do better I promise”

You looked up into his big brown eyes and smiled. 

“Let’s start over”  you grinned

“I love you y/n” he said as he kissed the top of your head

~~~~~~~~~

Anon: OMG I LOVE YOUR STORIES AHBHBKJDNJSD CAN YOU DO A CHRIS STROY THATS ANGST AT FIRST WHERE HE IS SPENDING A LOT OF TIME WITH A GIRL LIKE SAMANTHA SO YOU THINK HES CHEATING AND YOU GUYS FIGHT AND HE ENDS UP ASSURING YOU ITS NOTHING AND YOU GUYS KIND OF FUCK YOUR ANGER OUT AND TRY TO DOMINATE EACHOTHER BUT IT ENDS FLUFFY WITH HIM TRULY REASURING YOU THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY GIRL HE WANTS

Anon: Some sweet rough love making with Chris under the stars Bc a bitch is in her feelings 💕

Anon: hi queen! i don't know if you've already made this one, if not can you please write about having makeup sex with chris? like you both haven't seen each other in a while, but when you do your hoeing with other guys which got him super pissed... Thank you !

[detroitbydark]

Moonbeams and Ridinghoods Chapter 8

Pairing: Werewolf! Haz/Reader

Word Count: 3300+

Summary: Things they are a changing. Y/N regrets her decision to drink. Harrison and Emily have it out. Our two lovebirds question where they're at and where things are going.

Warnings: None

A/N: To my few, yet mighty, readers for this piece: Thank You! Without your support and prompting I'd probably still be staring at a blank screen and watching a blinking cursor. Three more chapters to go my darlings!

 Moonlight filters through the thick leaves of the canopy, glittering on the ground as his paws sink into the soft earth. His blood sings the song of his people as his family enjoys their birthright. He can hear the yips and barks of his pack mates can feel them all around him. Emily and Tom flank his sides. The twins and Tuwaine are at his back. Even Cat is there, tucked close to Tuwaine. A stiff breeze ruffles his thick coat. He thrusts muzzle into the air, pulling in the scent that it carries. It’s familiar and causes him to yip with joy. It’s Y/N.  He has to find her.

 He starts at a slow walk but his paws quickly move to a trot and than a full on run as he tracks the smell of his mate. He chases after her scent but she’s just out of reach, just past the next copse of trees, over the next hill. The winds whip and tease him with her scent. He can hear her soft voice begin to call for him but he can’t reach her as panic bleeds into it. The joy he’d felt turns sour as he tries to call out Y/N but she doesn't respond to his barks. 

The ground is warm as his paws pound into the forest floor. Headlong through the forest they carry him.  Brush grabs at his dark coat as his pace increases. His chest feels like it’s going to explode. His muscles burn and his lungs scream. No matter how hard he pushes he can’t get to her. 

Finally, crashing through the undergrowth he sees her, a dark wolf is standing in the shadow near her curled up body. There’s blood. There’s so much blood, the acrid scent of it burns his nose. It makes his stomach lurch and heave as her voice cries out, cracks with pain. Over and over she repeats his name as his legs give out.  He crawls on his belly but she’s always just out of reach.

“Harrison”

“Harrison”

“Harrison!”

Harrison’s eyes snap open. Y/N is staring up at him as he holds her tight to his chest. Her eyes are groggy and her hair is a rumpled mess. 

She’s absolutely beautiful. 

The panic of his dream fades. Y/N’s presence alone,  tucked close to him, soothes man and beast. He inhales her soft scent slowly, savoring each sweet note of it, letting it meld into this memory to keep with him forevermore. He’s racing heart slows.

“Hey, Killer” She mumbles, squirming slightly in his grasp “mind loosening up the grip some?” 

His fingers loosen around her waist as he realizes how hard he’s been holding on. He tries to pull his arm back, make space but she’s grabbing his hand and laying it softly on her hip. Y/N’s fingers trail up and over his cheek making him look down into her sleep lidded eyes. Its intimate in a way Harrison’s never experienced before. 

“Don’t run away from me.” her voice is still thick with fatigue but it holds something reassuring in it. She didn’t want him away from her. “You were getting all jumpy, bad dream?”

Trying to remember the details of the dream she’d woken him from Harrison finds he’s already forgetting about the details, left with only a nagging sense of dread. He brushes a few stray hairs from her eyes, “something like that.” He mutters.

Y/N burrows in closer, her bare leg tangling between his. Apparently, sober y/n was just as much an octopus as drunk Y/N was. He loves it and allows himself to curl around her.

She’s still in his shirt,  likely hungover, and judging by the yawn she tries to stifle, still very sleepy. He’s hungry, anxious, and it’s well past any sensible time he’d normally get up but, after last night, Harrison feels like he’s looking at everything through fresh eyes, a new tilt on the situation. Nothing and everything is perfect all at once. This isn’t like the very sporadic hook-ups he’s brought home. Y/N is his… he won’t even think the word not when there’s so much to explain. Not when he doesn’t know how she’ll react. Did she even feel half the emotion stirring in her that he had overwhelming him? He’s sure she can’t. How could she be thinking about the rest of her life with him… or without him? Her face is not the face of someone trying to convince their would be lover that, though it has only been a short time, the thought of spending the rest of forever with them is something she’d willingly do.

 Y/N’s fingers card through his hair lazily. They pluck and twist random strands as if in a trance. He could get used to this, he thinks. He wants to be used to this.  No one night stand, no casual girlfriend, has made him question so many things in such a short time. None of them has piqued the interest of the wolf. His other half agrees. The wolf inside is smug with the knowledge that their mate was safe and secure in their bed. He urges Harrison to take the next step, to court her and make her theirs, to mark-

“What are you thinking?” She asks dreamily, “you look far away.”

Harrison’s thumb strokes tiny circles over her hip and she sighs, seemingly content. “Nothing important” he lies smoothly pushing his instincts to the back burner.

Her warm breath tickles at his skin as she nuzzles against his bare chest. His body responds in a very familiar way, blood rushing from his head down into his groin.  Her lips graze against him and Harrison can’t help the low sound that rumbles through his chest.  Y/N looks up with a mix of amusement and confusion.  “What was that?”

Harrison gives a lazy shrug. What was he going to say? I’m a werewolf and that’s just my happy noise? 

Yeah, that was not going to happen.

“Not sure what you’re talking about, Love.”

Y/N rolls her hips against his and Harrison’s grip tightens on her hip. A soft sound escapes her lips. It’s needy and sweet and he squeezes again as he presses his own hips into her. Her eyes darken as his hardness  presses low against her belly. One hand grips his shoulder as she presses up from the bed with her other arm. Harrison is ready to roll back and guide her body over his but her face twitches. Y/N releases her grip on him and shakes her head. A grimaces mars her features as she flops back against the pillow. Harrison’s brows knit together as her eyes slam shut and she makes a pathetic, pained sound.

“Ugghh, I drank way too much last night.” she mutters miserably “The world is spinning.”

Even mildly frustrated, he can’t help but laugh softly at her groan. “You need some water.” He casually readjusts himself as she clenches her eyes shut.

“And an aspirin” she agrees. Her nose wrinkles in distaste as she sniffs at her arm “and a shower.”

Leaning in, Harrison gently presses his lips to her forehead. His voice is muffled against her skin “I have all of those things.”

“A regular Prince Charming” she murmurs as he rolls away. Y/N makes grabby hands but he ignores them while he moves to retrieve the hangover necessities and start the shower. 

He has to help her sit as he hands over the aspirin and a bottle of water. Y/N swallows half the bottle down like a champ, before setting it down and placing her hands in her lap. Her cheeks are pink as she speaks. “I don’t usually do things like this.”

“Get drunk and pass out in someone else's bed? I would hope not” he chuffs. “But, If it makes you feel better, as long as it’s my bed you're passing out in, I promise I won’t judge” Y/N’s cheeks grow pinker as she glances down at her twiddling thumbs “I think I might be able to promise that.” She glances up quickly, eyes locking on his soft blues. Something flashes there that makes his chest tight and his breath catch. It’s gone just as soon as it appears but he would give anything to see it again. His hand strokes along the soft flesh of her thigh where his tee has risen up. Silence reigns comfortably between the pair while she finishes the bottle of water. 

“You said you’d like a shower? It’s running. If you want I can go scavenge some breakfast” he glances at the alarm clock “or lunch, as it may be,while you use it.”

Steam is already spilling from the em suite as she moves carefully from bed, gifting him with a sweet kiss on the nose as she brushes past him.

He watches her step carefully into the en suite, unashamed as his eyes trail up her thighs to where they disappear under his shirt.

Emily is perched atop the marble counter when Harrison meanders into the kitchen. There’s something different she can’t quite put her finger on. Haz always moved with confidence. He was charming and self assured. He owned every room he entered and he knew it but now… it was cliche, but he was fucking glowing. 

“Harrison Osterfield” she clucks, pursing her lips “You didn’t sleep with her, did you?”

Harrison narrows his eyes and Emily feels a pang of guilt. She went a bit too far last night and she owed him an apology not an accusation.

“I slept with her. I didn’t fuck her” He deadpans “Im offended you’d think i’d stoop so low but than again you were pretty clear on your thoughts about how I’m going about this.”

Again, it stings, cuts her to the quick. 

“Haz, I’m sorry. I went a little off the deep end last night.”

“Yeah you did.” he growls half heartedly before his shoulders slump slightly. He moves to her and cups the back of her head, pressing their foreheads together. “Em, I love you like my sister. I don’t want to be mad at you but you gotta understand-”

“I do!” Emily’s hand smoothes over the back of his hair for a moment before the pair separate. “I mean I’m trying, but you have to understand what I’m seeing.”

Harrison’s eyes are searching as he pulls back to look at her. She doesn’t look away. He nods after a minute. 

“Alright than. We’ll just call this apology accepted?”

Emily lets out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. She nods as Harrison steps away and busies himself with the coffee pot. Hopping from the counter she moves to the fridge and begins pulling out to-go containers. When Harrison cocks his head at the spread she’s laying she starts popping lids off. 

“I may have run by the cafe to grab a peace offering.”

Harrison’s gentle smile lets her know that he hadn’t just said her apology was accepted, it truly was. 

Tom’s second in command rummages in a drawer before grabbing a spoon. He scoops a big helping of tabouli straight from a nearby container and into his mouth. Green flecks of parsley speckle his teeth as he grins her way. Emily huffs softly and snatches the container away from him. 

“No eating from the carton, ya heathen” His long fingers make a grab for it but she spins out of this reach. He pouts playfully as he  begins glancing underneath the other lids. 

“Does your mate know you’re such a brat?” Emily watches as her friend’s spine stiffens. When he looks up she easily sees the look in his eyes. He is the anti-thesis of himself in that moment, lacking in confidence or swagger as he glances toward the door and fidgets with the spoon still in hand, tapping it against his palm.

“How did you know?”

Emily smiles softly, a far off memory warms the depths of her heart, “I remember Tom looking the same way at me as you do at Y/N. Last night? Yeah, that was a look I knew well.” She shrugs, moving to grab some plates from a high cupboard. “I mean, I didn’t know what it meant at the time-”

“About that…” when Emily’s attention moves back to him he offers a nervous smile of his own. “How do I tell her? I mean… how should Tom have-” he shakes his head softly, “Fuck” he grumbles. “M’sorry, Em. I shouldn’t have said it like that. I don’t even know how to speak when I’m thinking about her.”

Emily takes pity on the man. Her smile is gentle. She loved her boys. Even before the attack that had turned her into what she was today she’d been fiercely loyal and protective of what would become her pack, her wolf only making her more so as the changes had happened. 

The changes...how could she have been prepared for all of this? Would it have eased the trauma, the fear? It’s something she’d thought about a million times over the last five years. How should Tom have told her what he was? How should he have brought her into his world? How could he have prevented what had happened to her? There was no right answer because hindsight, being what it was, wouldn’t allow for it. Emily closes the distance between them and leans her head on his shoulder.

“Is this just an… Is it just an instinct thing or is it-” She glances up and takes in the faraway gaze in Harrison’s eyes, the way he inhales deeply like he’s trying to get even the faintest hint of Y/N. 

“I think it’s L-” he falters with the word, “I think it is. It’s too soon, right? I mean these things are supposed to take time and all that. I’m a div...” Emily presses a finger to his lips.

“Haz, shut up. No one said there’s a right or a wrong way to fall in love, if that’s what it is to you. It’s ok if it’s not, too. I never thought I’d see the day when you would worry so much about the right and wrong way to care for someone.” she laughs as she pulls her hand back, lifts her head from his  shoulder. Their sensitive ears both pick up the sound of footsteps padding down the upstairs hall and toward the stairs. “Don’t worry so much about how it is and isn’t supposed to happen. Let yourself enjoy the process but” she pauses for a second, “If it is love and you're sure and you want what it is I think you want, you need to tell her. I don’t know what the right way is but I do know the wrong way.” 

Harrison presses his lips gently to her forehead right as Y/N rounds the corner. Her eyes widen for a moment but it seems to not bother her. Emily has thought about it. At one time she’d thought that no one, not born into their life, was meant for it. Then she met Y/N.  She seems to thrive off the casual closeness that wolves saw as an everyday commonality. She was borderline touch starved, honestly. Y/N only proves Emily’s point when she makes a beeline for her, a small crease between her brows as she walks into the arms Emily has opened for her.

“M’mad at you” Y/N mumbles against her chest and Emily laughs, wrapping her arms around her and stroking her still damp hair.  She is swimming in one of Harrison’s workout shirts and has a pair of his sweats riding low on her hips. Emily sees the hungry look flash in the males eyes.

“You got me drunk” Y/N accuses weakly.

“Pretty sure you did that to yourself. Maybe you’ll know better next time.”

Harrison huffs and you both look up and over to him, sulking with his hip pressed against the marble. He opens his arms wide and motions Y/N  over.  She wiggles from Emily’s grasp and turns to nuzzle into Harrison’s. Em can’t help but admire what a smart looking pair the two make. 

“Next time I’ll be there to be the voice of reason.” Harrison murmurs against the top of Y/N’s head. Maybe he wasn’t willing to admit it just yet, but the alpha female can see the love lighting his eyes as Y/N leans up and gives him a soft kiss on the chin. His wolf had declared Y/N his mate but Harrison was wholly on board. For him it was as good as a deal done. Y/N herself has seemingly come to a crossroad, Emily notes. Where she’d been a woman nervous and apprehensive about an upcoming date yesterday, today she’s pressed into the same man’s arms with an utter lack of care for the world around her. She looks to have a familiarity with the blonde that Emily hadn’t seen before. 

“Shall I heat some of this up.” She asks after moment gesturing to the spread of food. Y/N’s eyes light up as she turns in Harrison’s arms. Emily laugh is bright and melodic when her friends arms tighten around Y/N’s waist, unwilling to let her loose for one second.

Harrison’s only been gone a short while and your lips still feel swollen and tender from the press of his before he left.  Near on twenty minutes with your back pressed against the door of your place and your lips locked with his and you still hadn’t been able to convince him to come inside. He’d given you that killer smile and an excuse about being a gentleman. It was frustratingly endearing.

As you put a kettle on, finally alone, you have time to reflect on the last 24 hours. This time yesterday your tummy had been a bundle of nerves as you’d thought about your upcoming dinner date. You still had the feeling but it was different now. Harrison’s intentions were for more clear. Though he hadn’t said it his actions had spoken volumes. He’d called Tom during lunch and told him he was taking the day off. You wouldn’t have though much of it if you hadn’t seen Emily’s raised brow and his smile and shrug in response. Cat had told you he had “a lot on his plate” but he shelved it for a day to spend with you curled up in his bed watching movies and recovering for your escapades the previous night. In fact, you feel almost lost now without having him close, touching you. You haven't felt like this since… you’ve actually never felt this way. Being in Harrison’s sphere was addicting. His focus on you made you feel wanted in a way previous relationships. Neither of you knew truly anything about the other but somehow you thought that didn’t matter. There was a pull, something beautiful and wild and unknown to you that made each moment you spent with him feel like something from a dream. 

As the kettle whistles and you move to make a cuppa you remember the way his arm engulfed you as you’d both napped earlier in the day. The heat radiating from his body, the natural scent of him, soap and cedar, lulling you to sleep. The soft kisses to your temple as you slowly woke, drowsy but refreshed. Harrison drew out a feeling of intimacy in you that was unmatched and you hadn’t even sealed the deal yet, hadn’t even come close. But you wanted to. 

You try not to think of all the problems that these new found feelings were going to create. You were still only here temporarily. The hospitals contract kept you around for another month and a half and then? A knot formed in your stomach as you drop a couple lumps of sugar into the hot tea. How were you going to leave if you fell in love?

TagList: @tomsrebeleyebrow​, @hazmyheart​, @the-southernbelle​, @definitely-not-black-cat​, @shantillycream​, @thornonmyrose​ @crazyfreaker @fanficparker

[yueln]

okay like if we really REALLY wanna vibe together?? we gotta kinda work around the fact that there’s gonna be a part of me that has completely disappeared and will never come back. we gotta accept the fact that i’m gonna resent some people n be perpetually angry over some shit that shouldn’t have happened lol. 

like yea ik it doesnt really fucking matter atm, nothing really does anymore, every1 has moved on and so did i, but that’s like as my therapist called it some permanent changes to personality after something v turbulent. like it’s hard to deal w it and im trying my fucking best. it means changes in the ways i deal w people and on god i really hope it’s for the better bc who knows what i’d regress into if shit hits the fan once again.

so like as mindfulness calls it, let these thoughts pass w/o judgement lol, and it’s hard as fuck to do that at first, sometimes there are still storms in my head that just seem to never clear away, there are people i obsess over that makes me miserable and toxic, there are threads of interpersonal relationships/social cues that i seek out knowing fully well that it’s going to hurt me. 

the important thing is that im fucking trying mate, it’s funny how one night can make me lose my shit so hard that it takes months and so much more mental struggling to recover from. ive gotten fucked up, drunk off my ass, watched my co-workers snort cocaine in front of me as i felt loneliness as if it was going to crush me completely. ive stumbled back home by myself hungover at 3am and got ready for work the next morning. ive cried so fucking hard that i had to take twice the recommended painkiller just so i can think straight that night.

ive also made amazing new friends, started to work out daily, and sent myself back to therapy. i almost bought a fucking house and found my own closure. i’ve watched people expose the ugliest side of modern greed as they slam 4k worth of cash in front of my poker table at 3 in the morning, but i’ve also watched the sun rise over the inner city river while walking home feeling like im so far ahead from where i used to be. 

6 months was all that it took to thrust me into a completely different period of my life and it is insane, it is almost mind-boggling how fast ive just changed. if it wasn’t for the utterly unhinged development that came with the pull of the trigger i think i’d still be as stagnant and bored as i used to be. it is so painful, it was the worst kind of loss ive felt, but with it came the most reflection and growth ive had the privilege to experience. 

although ive skipped all my classes this semester and currently stood down bc of covid-19 i dont really feel like ive lost everything. i think ive learned far more from my experience than anything material that i can possibly have rn.

and if we were gonna vibe with that we gotta see and understand that it’s a part of me now, the changes are way too much for it to be subtle, people are going to notice, i cant do shit to change that and i wont try this time either. if we vibe we vibe, everyone’s welcomed, it’s just a matter if people take that invitation.

[whentherewerebicycles]

iiiiiii am finished with work and am going home to my dog. my friends are having goodbye drinks tonight and im gonna go to that but i WILL NOT DRINK because if i am even slightly hungover tomorrow’s schedule will be so fucking miserable. this is my resolution.

[linisen]

How about #22 did you just hiss with Yurio and Yuuri friendship?

Yuuri & Yuri friendship 22. “Did you just hiss at me?”

A few years ahead where Yuri is old enough to drink.

___________________________________________________________________

Light bursts into the room as someone pulls open the curtains in front of the windows, letting the bright morning light in. Yuri screams as he hides under the covers, headache increasing tenfold by the light. His mouth feels dry and his lips chapped, his body sicky as it catches against the sheats. His hair feels more like a crows nest than the usual locks falling around his face but he dosent care. He’s hungover and miserable.

He didn’t make a single jump yesterday, not even dubbles. He haven’t fumbled dubbles since he was like five. This late growth spurt is putting a serious dent in his confidence and his work out time. He needs to focus on worlds, perfecting his short program and expanding his quads. He doesn not need to fumble doubles.

After practice Yakov had just grumbled and sent him home, bruised and so angry. Not having the patience to deal with himself and his failure he had snagged his wallet and headed straight to the club two blocks away. He had chugged down as many shots he had been able too before the ache in his chest had lifted and then he had danced and drunken some more and then ist kind of a blank. Apparently he made it back to the apartment in one piece so it can’t have been too bad, except the exploding headache.

“Come on Yura, sit up.” Yuuri’s honey sweet voice comes thru, muffled by the cover he’s pulled over his head. Shit. Why did they have to send Yuuri. It would have been better if it had been Yakov, or Victor or Mila. Any of those he would happily have torn apart and thrown out with their heads first. But for as much bite he is towards his name sake, he could never be as vicious  to Yuuri as the others. Crap.

“No.” He grumbles under the covers, pulling his knees up towards his chest. His shins ache, growing pains the physical therapist said. Crappy body betraying him like this.

“I’ve bought hot chocolate and fries.” Yuuri says, tugging at the covers. Something lands on Yuri’s cover clad form, four paws treading along his back before a soft meeow can be heard.

“Hi Potya.” Yuuri coos and potya starts to purr loudly, probably getting pets by the other skater. With a grumble Yuri pushes himself in to a sitting position, covers pooling around his waist. The light burns at his eyes as he squints, trying to blink away the headache. It works like shit.

“Do you want an aspirin?” Yuuri ask, holding out a pill and a cup of something. The thought of swallowing anything sends a shiver down Yuri’s spine and an in human sound leaves his throat. Yuuri arches an eyebrow at him, small smile tugging at his lip.

“Did you just hiss at me?” He asks, sounding far to fucking amused. “Are you turning into a cat?”

“Shut up.” Yuri shoots back, still watching the pill. He really doesn’t wanna take it for the risk of vomiting but he needs something to sooth the pounding in his head. He slowly reaches out and grabs the offered cup and pill, swallowing it. The hot cocoa is sweet and it soothes his stomach. Yuuri holds out the fires again.

“Itsn not on the diet plan.” Yuri mumbles and Yuuri rolls his eyes.

“Eat.” Yuuri orders, handing over a bag of fatty fires. It feels like a horrible idea but as soon as he’s put one in his mouth he cant stop shoving them in, the salt and fat tasting like heaven.

“Why are you here?” Yuri grumbles.

“You called last night, drunk out of your mind and couldn’t find your way home.” Yuuri says as he rises, picking up Potya who’s stroking around his legs, asking for cuddles. Yuri groans again. Typical. He always got way to needy when drunk.

“Where is the idiot?” He asks. He has no patience for Victor right now.

“I want allowed to bring him.” Yuuri says, amused. His face then turns tender and shit, here it comes. “What wrong Yura?”

“Nothings fucking wrong!” He spits. Yuuri doesn’t even flinch anymore, far to use to Yuri’s outbursts. It makes Yuri’s heart clench a little.

“I just. I can’t even land fucking dubbles and worlds is coming up and it’s like my body’s working against me and I don’t know what to do!” A ragged sob rips thus his chest and he wipes furiously at the tears. Suddenly, warm arms wrap around him, holding him tight.

“Im sorry. It sucks.” Yuuri agrees as Yuri’s tears increase, snot coming out of his nose creating a wet mess on Yuuri’s shirt.

“You wanna skate it away?” Yuuri asks when Yuri’s sobs starts to calm down.

“Why? So I can fall on my ass?” Yuri asks, detangling himself from Yuuri and wiping his nose.

“No, we can practice the other stuff. Spins and steps.”“I can’t win with spins, steps and doubles Katsudon. “ Yuri grumbles without bite.

“I don’t know. Wouldn’t it be cool if you did? Show the entire world you don’t need jumps to be the best?”

It’s completely insane, and undoable. But the comforting smile from his friends makes Yuri’s heart lighten as he wipes his nose one last time before tetangeling his legs from the sheets.

“Yeah. It would be cool.”